I’m writing these lines while watching TV. There’s a good movie playing called “Goal”. Such a moving one that makes need to choke back my tears (Nope, I’m bragging), Well as everybody knows ten days have elapsed since the world wished me a happy new year. It’s crazy and here I am. I’m now basically waiting for my internship to start in this February hopefully (the VERY first one of its kind in my faculty, so my batch happens to pioneer it). Yes I’m merely waiting as I haven’t done anything big since my trip to Bandung. I mean, meanwhile most of my friends of my batch start to make some money on their own by working in a clinic or whatever. I must be satisifed with being “a security guard”, keeping an eye for my (my parents’) house. Doing the manual work that the Frenchmen call faire le ménage. Je sais que ça sonne dérisoire, mais je sens que j’ai pas de choix. I don’t wanna work as long as I don’t get my license out yet because the penalty looks so serious. I simply don’t wanna get tried and fined since there’s not much in my bank account (you can say it’s almost empty). I’d never ever let the prosecutor see me as an easy target in case i dit it and got caught . That’s one point. I always make myself believe and I listen to my inner voice, just like what Billy Joel says “What’s the hurry about, you can’t be everything before your time.” And I don’t think the time has arrived for me, however I don’t think I let the chances fade. Not at all. I’m recharging during this lengthy period I’d rather call les vacances d’hiver, the winter holiday. February will see me start everything from the bottom again. Je vais faire un stage de huit mois dans un hôpital périphérique et de quatre mois dans un centre de santé communal. Mais je ne serai pas seul evidemment. J’aurai toujours mes amis. To be honest, this frightens me a little bit, not only we’ll be the first batch of our medical school being involved in this trial and error program, but also it’s more of the fear of being exposed in an utterly new milieu. It’s not that I think I won’t be capable of coping with all these stuffs, I’m all for new challenges anyway. As I stated above, we’re all about to start everything from the bottom. Like building a home on an abandoned land. It will be about the communication, the group dynamics, coming across with strangers that sometimes requires us to be an ice-breaker, and probably with some “newly-invented” procedures to deal with some medical cases. Who knows and I’m not in a position to answer it. Gaining self-confidence is not an easy thing indeed. Hope things go as expected. Catch you soon!!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Monday Confession: I Feel So Uneasy Somehow
Le 10 janvier 2011
I’m writing these lines while watching TV. There’s a good movie playing called “Goal”. Such a moving one that makes need to choke back my tears (Nope, I’m bragging), Well as everybody knows ten days have elapsed since the world wished me a happy new year. It’s crazy and here I am. I’m now basically waiting for my internship to start in this February hopefully (the VERY first one of its kind in my faculty, so my batch happens to pioneer it). Yes I’m merely waiting as I haven’t done anything big since my trip to Bandung. I mean, meanwhile most of my friends of my batch start to make some money on their own by working in a clinic or whatever. I must be satisifed with being “a security guard”, keeping an eye for my (my parents’) house. Doing the manual work that the Frenchmen call faire le ménage. Je sais que ça sonne dérisoire, mais je sens que j’ai pas de choix. I don’t wanna work as long as I don’t get my license out yet because the penalty looks so serious. I simply don’t wanna get tried and fined since there’s not much in my bank account (you can say it’s almost empty). I’d never ever let the prosecutor see me as an easy target in case i dit it and got caught . That’s one point. I always make myself believe and I listen to my inner voice, just like what Billy Joel says “What’s the hurry about, you can’t be everything before your time.” And I don’t think the time has arrived for me, however I don’t think I let the chances fade. Not at all. I’m recharging during this lengthy period I’d rather call les vacances d’hiver, the winter holiday. February will see me start everything from the bottom again. Je vais faire un stage de huit mois dans un hôpital périphérique et de quatre mois dans un centre de santé communal. Mais je ne serai pas seul evidemment. J’aurai toujours mes amis. To be honest, this frightens me a little bit, not only we’ll be the first batch of our medical school being involved in this trial and error program, but also it’s more of the fear of being exposed in an utterly new milieu. It’s not that I think I won’t be capable of coping with all these stuffs, I’m all for new challenges anyway. As I stated above, we’re all about to start everything from the bottom. Like building a home on an abandoned land. It will be about the communication, the group dynamics, coming across with strangers that sometimes requires us to be an ice-breaker, and probably with some “newly-invented” procedures to deal with some medical cases. Who knows and I’m not in a position to answer it. Gaining self-confidence is not an easy thing indeed. Hope things go as expected. Catch you soon!!
I’m writing these lines while watching TV. There’s a good movie playing called “Goal”. Such a moving one that makes need to choke back my tears (Nope, I’m bragging), Well as everybody knows ten days have elapsed since the world wished me a happy new year. It’s crazy and here I am. I’m now basically waiting for my internship to start in this February hopefully (the VERY first one of its kind in my faculty, so my batch happens to pioneer it). Yes I’m merely waiting as I haven’t done anything big since my trip to Bandung. I mean, meanwhile most of my friends of my batch start to make some money on their own by working in a clinic or whatever. I must be satisifed with being “a security guard”, keeping an eye for my (my parents’) house. Doing the manual work that the Frenchmen call faire le ménage. Je sais que ça sonne dérisoire, mais je sens que j’ai pas de choix. I don’t wanna work as long as I don’t get my license out yet because the penalty looks so serious. I simply don’t wanna get tried and fined since there’s not much in my bank account (you can say it’s almost empty). I’d never ever let the prosecutor see me as an easy target in case i dit it and got caught . That’s one point. I always make myself believe and I listen to my inner voice, just like what Billy Joel says “What’s the hurry about, you can’t be everything before your time.” And I don’t think the time has arrived for me, however I don’t think I let the chances fade. Not at all. I’m recharging during this lengthy period I’d rather call les vacances d’hiver, the winter holiday. February will see me start everything from the bottom again. Je vais faire un stage de huit mois dans un hôpital périphérique et de quatre mois dans un centre de santé communal. Mais je ne serai pas seul evidemment. J’aurai toujours mes amis. To be honest, this frightens me a little bit, not only we’ll be the first batch of our medical school being involved in this trial and error program, but also it’s more of the fear of being exposed in an utterly new milieu. It’s not that I think I won’t be capable of coping with all these stuffs, I’m all for new challenges anyway. As I stated above, we’re all about to start everything from the bottom. Like building a home on an abandoned land. It will be about the communication, the group dynamics, coming across with strangers that sometimes requires us to be an ice-breaker, and probably with some “newly-invented” procedures to deal with some medical cases. Who knows and I’m not in a position to answer it. Gaining self-confidence is not an easy thing indeed. Hope things go as expected. Catch you soon!!
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